Category: Recipes

Aioli…one of the great mysteries of the modern world. Or, a fancy way of saying dressed up mayonnaise. No matter how you view it, stuff is delicious.

Ingredients

• 1 cup mayonnaise
• 1/4 cup olive oil
• Salt (1/2 tbps..ish)
• Pepper (1/2 tbps…ish)
• Juice of 3-4 lemons
• 2 tbps Louisiana hot sauce
• 2 diced fresh garlic cloves
• Dash of paprika

Mix all of the ingredients other than the mayonnaise. Once they are combined and happy scoop in your mayo. Mix it really well, the mayo is going to want to have small clumps in the mix. Take an extra minute or two to break up even the smallest of clumps and end up with a very smooth mixture.

Take a taste of it. The true test is that if it’s good on it’s own, then it’s going to be good on everything (especially boiled/steamed artichokes and cold hangover pizza). If it’s a bit too salty, or too “mayo-y” then look to adjust by adding in more oil/mayo to tame the salt, or more lemon juice and pepper and knock down the mayo flavor.

It doesn’t get any better than this.

Let’s get to it.

Ingredients:

• Corn, the sweeter the better. One corn for every 3lbs of crawfish
• Tony Chachere’s. Get the biggest can they’ll sell you.
• Butter. One stick for every 15 lbs of crawfish
• Honey. One bottle for every 15 lbs of crawfish
• Onions. One onion for every 6 lbs of crawfish
• Garlic. One garlic head for every 9 lbs of crawfish
• Oranges. I like small tangerines. One tangerine for every 3lbs of crawfish
• Bay Leaves. One bay leaf for every 9 lbs of crawfish
• Liquid Crab boil. This stuff is potent. One bottle for every 32ish lbs of crawfish
• Bag of traditional Crawfish boil seasoning powder. 2/3 bag for every 32ish lbs of crawfish
• Lemons. One lemon for every 3 lbs of crawfish
• Crawfish. Duh. A typical sack is 32 lbs and a typical person eats around 3 lbs
• Artichoke. One artichoke for every 9 lbs
• Louisiana hot sauce. Same principle as the Tony Chachere’s. Get the biggest bottle they’ll sell you
• Mushrooms. One box for every 9 lbs
• Sausage. You can get creative here. My preference is one two-link package of traditional andouille for every 9lbs of crawfish and one “wild card” package for every boil. Trust me on this, after 3 beers, and a bunch of crawfish, few things are as good as pulling out a piece of wild card jalapeño and cheddar sausage from the mix.
• One sack of small red potatoes for every sack. I’m not a huge potato guy. If you wanna throw in an extra sack more power to you. Just don’t blame me when no one compliments you on it.

Tools

• I use an 80 quart pot with a fitted strainer
• Standard outdoor burner
• Propane tank. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve gotten everything prepared…then realized I had forgotten to get a full tank

Tips

• Rinds tend to be bitter. Many people will just chop the lemons in half (and oranges in this case) and toss them in. I’m not the biggest fan of this since it opens up the risk of a bitter taste getting into the food. Just juice them and pour the juice in.
• Do two batches per sack.
• Double cook the artichokes. Meaning put em back into the boil after the first batch.
• Use Louisiana original hot sauce. The one with the red cap and red dot on the label.
• When in doubt, under-season the first batch. You can always add spice, but you can’t remove it.
• Taste your broth before putting anything in. No seriously. Get brave and taste the water that you’re about to cook everything in. This step alone will improve your cooking ten fold. You’d be surprised how many people don’t do it.
• Purge your crawfish. Whether or not this really does a great deal of importance well…is besides the point. The purging process forces you to clean their bodies with salt which in a requirement. I purge twice. All this mean is fill your ice chest with water, pour a bunch of cheap table salt in the water, let sit for 5 minutes and drain. Twice.
• Make a Creole Aioli. Trust me. This stuff is perfect for the artichokes and offers a good dipping sauce if you’re looking for a flavor change of pace when pushing past the 3 lbs mark.

Steps

Crawfish boils are 90% prep work, 10% drinking beer. The instructions below are based on one 32ish lbs sack of crawfish cooked in two batches. If you’re going for more than one sack, be prepared to re-season your water after the second batch.

Fill your pot just over halfway full of water. Add in all of the seasoning powder and all of the liquid boil. Chop the oranges and lemons in half (all of them) and juice them into the water as well. Add in about 1/3 of a cup of Louisiana hot sauce to the water. Take half of your onions, chop off the ends, chop the remaining onion in half and peel away the inedible skins. Add em to the water. Add in all of your bay leaves. For the garlic, leave the head intact but peel away as much of the garlic paper as possible. Best case scenario is you expose the cloves but they remain attached to the base of the head. Drop in 2 garlic heads after cleaning them. I like dropping in my sausage from the get go, so add in half of your allotted sausage at this point.

Once you have the water prepped, light up the burner and get the water boiling. This will take longer than you expect it to. To speed things up place a lid on the pot to retain heat and open a beer.

Every now and then check on your water, once you see some steam/heat coming off of it feel free to drop in half of your potatoes, half of your corn, and all of your artichokes. Don’t do this to early, wait until the water is “imminently” about to boil.

Once the water is boiling you’ve got a good thing going on. Check the potatoes every 10 or so minutes to see how things are coming along. They take longer than corn, so they’re your best barometer. Here’s where buying the smallest red potatoes possible is important. If the potatoes are too large, their cook time will be too different than the corn cook time and you’ll end up having to stress about turning your corn into mush while waiting for the potatoes to finish. Don’t be that stressed out boiler, no one likes that guy.

Also, I like the way mushrooms taste. Some people put mushrooms in at the beginning with the potatoes and corn. I prefer to put the mushrooms in when the potatoes are about halfway done. They still retain their natural flavor while picking up some of the boil seasoning rather than just being a big splash of boil.

Every burner is different – potatoes usually take somewhere in the 20-25 min range but don’t stress out if they’re just not their yet. If you go past 30 minutes, consider pulling out the corn early and feeding people an “appetizer” as opposed to overcooking them. Pull out a potato in that 20ish minute range, cool it off, and eat it. If it’s done (or super close) than you’re ready.

Drop in your purged crawfish. Put the lid on and finish your beer. Should be about 5 minutes if your boil is rolling well. Take a peek after 5 minutes, if they’re floating and ruby red then their done. Kill the flame on the burner, put the lid back on, and let em rest for 10 or so minutes in the water.

Here’s where everyone does something different. Some serve directly after letting them rest in the water, some put them in a cooler, and some put them in a cooler and sprinkle some seasoning on top. Mine fall into a 4th category.

Pull up your strainer, drain the crawfish as best as possible (doesn’t need to be perfect) and dump into an empty ice chest. Drop in a roughly chopped up stick of butter, 2/3 a bottle of honey, and a generous amount of tony chachere’s. Shake the crap out of the ice chest.

Let it rest for 5 more minutes.

Dump on the table, find the artichokes, place the artichokes back into the pot, and eat everything else immediately.

Reignite the burner, throw in the rest of your veggies/sausage and repeat the steps. Usually batch 2 finishes cooking a little bit faster than batch 1 so keep an eye out.

And there you have it! You’ve made crawfish, probably hi-fived some people, probably told some exaggerated stories, and hopefully crushed it.

Ingredients:

• 2 1/2 lbs potatoes. I used little dutch yellow potatoes
• 3 cups whole milk
• 2 garlic cloves
• 1 1/4 cups gruyere cheese
• 3 tbs heavy whipping cream
• 2 tbs butter
• dash of nutmeg
• Salt & Pepper

Preheat the oven to 350 degrees.

Slice all of the potatoes. You don’t want to go paper thin or else they’ll desintegrate but you also don’t want too thick or it’ll affect the cook time. I’d like to say “slice to an 8th of an inch” but that would assume that I actually measured that perfectly. Rough guess though is stick to around 1/8th of an inch if you’re looking for thickness direction.

Bring the milk to a boil in a pot (keep an eye on it since it may start to foam up to the point of boiling over). Toss in a heavy dash of nutmeg – this will help bring through some of that potato flavor. I know you’re thinking “dude it’ll taste like Christmas”, trust me it won’t. As soon as the milk comes to a boil toss in all of your potatoes and a heavy dose of salt and pepper. When it comes to leveling things out you want to make sure that the milk just covers the potatoes. If need be add a little water (my preference here is to actually just remove some potatoes). Let that simmer uncovered for 25 mins.

While that’s simmering smash and dice 2 garlic cloves and spread evenly on the bottom of a baking dish. Also during this break go ahead and grate all of your cheese – 1 1/4 cup is nice, more is even better. Set the cheese to the side.

Once the 25 minutes are up start layering the potatoes. One layer of potatoes, one layer of cheese, one layer of potatoes, one layer of…you get the point. After all of the layers have been set, pour your 3 tablespoons of heavy cream over the top and dollop the butter evenly. Also, grab about 2/3 of a cup of the seasoned milk you cooked the potatoes in and pour over the top.

Put in the over for 25 minutes, bake, good god it’s good.

Ingredients:

• Flour
• Eggs
• Salt & Pepper

There’s almost as many ways to make pasta as their is ways to cook it. Here’s a foolproof method that with a little TLC will get you there every time.

Two whole eggs for every one and 1/8th cup flour. Teaspoon of salt, half a teaspoon of pepper. You’ll for sure need more flour than one cup, but play that part by ear. Have about a quarter cup off to the side to tag into the ring whenever the time comes.

Think one egg per person also, so this batch makes enough pasta for two.

Pour the flour into a pyramid on the middle of a cutting board. Using two fingers make a hole down the middle in order to create a well. Crack both eggs and drop into the well. Also, go ahead and drop your S & P right into the well also. Start with a fork to “pierce” both eggs a couple of times, trust me, this will make the next step a whole lot easier and will help combine ingredients.

At this point, you’re ready to party. Using your fingers (or if you’re a delicate flower keep using the fork) being to whisk the eggs, seasoning, and flour together. What you really want to do is start small, get the eggs properly combined and slowly begin to incorporate the flour from the inner walls of the well.

Tip: Before you begin combining the flour really get the eggs going, you want the yolk and the egg white to combine into one. If you begin incorporating the flour before the eggs have had a chance to combine you’ll end up working the flour a little longer because you’re having to both incorporate a new ingredient (flour) and evenly distribute both parts of the egg.

Knead the dough until it’s a proper ball, if it’s really sticking to your fingers and you’ve already incorporated the flour from the walls go ahead and grab some extra flour from your reserve stash. When it’s done, you’ll have a silky dough ball that’s pillowy to the touch.

Let it rest for an hour in a bowl covered by a towel. You’ll probably need to sprinkle a little bit more flour on the dough ball at the end of the hour when you’re removing it from the bowl and getting ready to roll it into whatever weird shape your heart desires.

Hanger Steaks are a gift from the gods. This recipe makes a little over 2 hanger steaks – I like to cut mine in half and end up with 4 total pieces (makes for more predictable and even cooking).

Rub:

• 2 Tablespoons ground espresso. Make sure not to get any “flavored” espresso – just a straightforward roast will do. I prefer Cafe Caribe (it’s dirt cheap and delicious)
• 2 Tablespoons kosher salt
• 4 Teaspoons brown suger
• 1 Tablespoon fresh ground black pepper

Honestly I’d be leaving an important part out here if I didn’t say you should also have a badass cooking pan. Either a cast iron skillet or something of high quality.

Cooking:

Make sure to bring the steaks up to room temperature to ensure even cooking. Cover the steaks completely with the rub (you should have some leftover).

Bring your pan up to medium-high heat and use either vegetable oil or olive oil. Do not use extra virgin olive oil. The burning temperature is different and you’ll end up cooking nice steaks in burnt smokey oil. Once it’s up to game temperature place the steaks into the pan.

Step 4 through 79 = DON’T OVERCOOK. I WILL DRIVE TO YOUR HOUSE AND OPEN A FIRE EXTINGUISHER ON YOUR PAN IF YOU OVERCOOK THIS.

Step 80 – Three and a half minutes on each side, around 7 or so minutes total. Place on a cutting board for 10 minutes and let it rest.

Step 81 through 100 – Love life.

It goes without saying that the goods in this pasta are 110% reliant on the fettuccine. If you need a hand, go look at the “pasta from scratch” post. If you make this with dehydrated big box pasta it’ll turn out….decent….but not like it should. The sauce should be layered to showcase the pasta, not hide it.

Ingredients

• Cherry tomatoes – one handful per serving – halved
• Olive Oil – 2 tbs
• Pancetta – two slices per serving – diced
• Artichoke Hearts – 3 per serving
• Good parmesan that you have to grate yourself
• Shallot
• Garlic – two cloves per serving
• Butter – 1 tbsp per serving
• Salt & Pepper

The beauty of this pasta is in it’s simplicity. Don’t overcomplicate it. Keep it clean, and somewhat healthy and it’ll be exactly what you want – every time.

Cooking

Fry the pancetta in olive oil. When the fat become translucent and before the pork becomes brown toss in the garlic (diced) and shallot (also diced). These should cook pretty quickly and as soon as the shallot starts to turn translucent toss in the artichoke hearts and cherry tomatoes.

At this point everything you’ve done has happened in quite a hurry. You’re probably a little overwhelmed and probably moments away from burning everything. It’s ok. Lower the heat…a lot. Let everyone become friends at the point in some warmness rather than sizzling.

While you’re practicing your namaste shred about have a block of parmesan into a bowl. Go ahead and cut your butter as well and have it ready. Crack some pepper straight into the pan. Ok it’s go time.

Cook your pasta. If you’ve followed my directions and are using the good stuff it should take just a few minutes. As soon as it’s ready use tongs, or a spider to remove the pasta from the water and put straight into your pan with all the good stuff. Once the pasta is transitioned, add in all of the parmesan and the butter. Cut the heat and toss in the pan until the butter is completely melted.

Note: Pancetta always seems to be different depending on where you bought it. Some pancetta is really salty, some has a strong pepper taste, and others even have some nutmeg to them (my least favorite for this dish). Take a taste of your pasta at this point and determine if it needs any salt or pepper at this point.

Remove and serve quickly.

• 1/3 cup buttermilk
• .35 ounces of good blue cheese in block form
• 3 ounces of sour cream
• 2 ounces of mayo
• 4 tsp white wine vinegar
• 1/2 tsp plain white sugar
• 1/4 tsp garlic salt
• 1/8 tsp black pepper
• 1/8 tsp salt

Moist, flavor depth, and still light and airy. These are winners. Thanksgiving? Sure. Christmas? Ok. Tuesday? Why not.

• 1 Spice Cake Mix
• 1 Sweet potato (peeled, chopped)
• 1 tbsp salt
• 5 tbsp butter
• 3 Eggs
• 1 Cup Water
• 1 Jar Marshmallow Cream
• 1 small bag pecan halves
• 4 tbsp brown sugar

Candy the pecans in 1 tbsp brown sugar and 1 tbsp butter.

Boil the peeled sweet potato in 1 tbsp salt.

Once the sweet potato is fully cooked (somewhere around the 15 min park), remove it from the water and throw it in a mixing bowl. Add 2 tbsp butter, and 2 tbsp brown sugar. Beat on low to break up the sweet potato, then high to combine all the ingredients. You’re looking to get the mixture to be as smooth as possible.

Right about here is where you’ll want to put both the candied pecans and the sweet potato mixture into the freezer. If the candied pecans stay hot, they’ll melt the frosting. If the sweet potato mix stays hot, you’ll cook the eggs in the next step.

Once the sweet potato mix has cooled, add in the spice cake mix, eggs and water.

*Note – most spice cake mixes call for 3 eggs, 1 cup water, and 1/3 cup oil. We’ve got enough fats going on in the sweet potato mix to remove the oil from the equation. Also, when I say add the eggs I’m meaning the eggs and water it’s asking for on the back of the box – not an additional 3 eggs and water.

Beat this together first on low, then on high and put into you cupcake containers. This will cook for around 25 minutes on 350 heat.

While it’s cooking, cream the rest of your butter in a mixing bowl. Once creamed, add in the remaining brown sugar. Once those are well combined, add in your jar of marshmallow cream. Mix, well, on high. The marshmallow cream will slowly break down and become easier to work with.

Final prep:

Pull out the cupcakes when their done and put aside to cool. Once cooled, top with the marshmallow cream then one or two of the candied pecans.

A standard for Fall with the addition of a few “cheat” ingredients.

• 4 tbsp butter
• 1 yellow onion
• 1 leek
• 2 stalks celery
• 4 garlic cloves
• 3 cups peeled butternut squash
• 1 medium Yukon Gold potato (this type of potato is a must due to it’s unique starch)
• 1 bay leaf
• 1 tbsp thyme (or a sprig if you have fresh)
• 6 cups shrimp stock (make your own jabroni)
• 2 cups heavy cream
• 2 teaspoons paprika
• 1 dash nutmeg
• S & P
• 1 lb high quality shrimp, peeled and de-veined
• 1 green onion
• drumroll……….3 slices of bacon

The bacon makes this pop. Dice it up first, drop it in the cooking bowl on medium and cook till done and crispy. Remove from the pot and leave the rendered fat. Yup.

You’re going to put all of this in a blender at some point, so a rough chop is fine. Assume all vegetables mentioned below have been rough chopped.

1. Following your bacon goodness, melt the butter in the pot and add the onion, leeks (minus about 4 inches of the top, that part get stringy – use it to make your stock), celery, and garlic. Cook for a few minutes until everyone has become friends and add in the squash and potatoes. Cook for somewhere around 10-15 minutes until everything has softened a bit.
2. Add the bay leaf (not chopped), thyme (not chopped if you’re using a sprig) and cream to the pot and bring to a boil. Once boil is achieved lower the heat and simmer for 20 minutes.
3. Remove the bay leaf and thyme (if you sprig…ged) and puree the soup in a blender until smooth. Once smooth, return to the pot and add the remaining seasonings as well as the previously cooked bacon. Yum.
4. Once seasoning is incorporated, drop in the shrimp and add the green onions. This only needs to cook for 5-10 minutes and you’re ready to plate.

These are incredible. Flavorful with some nice color and density provided by the sweet potato. Let’s go.

Ingredients

Beignet part:

• 1 cup beer (I used a pretty standard Texas beer, don’t need to go too fancy here)
• 1 cup flour
• 2 tablespoons barely melted butter. Either melt it on a double boiler or just slightly in the microwave
• 2 teaspoons baking powder
  • If you don’t have baking powder, you can make some at home if you have baking soda and cream of tartar. Two parts cream of tartar for every one part baking powder
• 1 teaspoon salt
• 1 egg white
• Frying oil

Sweet Potato part:

• 1 medium sweet potato
• 3 tablespoons butter
• 1/3 cup brown sugar
• 1 teaspoon salt
• 1 teaspoon cinnamon
• 1 teaspoon nutmeg
• 1/8 cup cream cheese
• 1/8 cup whipping cream

Finishing Dust

• 2 tablespoons powdered sugar
• 1 tablespoon brown sugar
• 1 teaspoon cinnamon
• 1 teaspoon nutmeg

This isn’t as much work as the ingredients list would suggest.

First, make the batter. Put all of the beignet ingredients into a mixing bowl and combine. Once combined, slowly pour in the one cup of beer (while stirring) as well as the butter (while still stirring). Once all of those ingredients are combined, store this in the fridge. This needs to rest for about 1 hour.

Next, dice the sweet potato and drop in to a pot of boiling salted water till they’re soft. Once soft, put into a larger mixing bowl and smash just as you would mashed potatoes. While smashing, include the butter, cinnamon, salt, brown sugar, and nutmeg. Once they’re well combined put this in the fridge or freezer to cool. If you have more than 30 minutes till your beignet mix has cooled, then put it in the fridge, less than 30, then use the freezer.

While you wait, create the dust by combining all of the ingredients and put in a sifter for later use. Also, go ahead and pull out your egg white and whip it until you can form stiff peaks. Finally, put a pot on the stove and get a good deep layer of oil. If you have it, go for a good 4 inches of oil. Get this to medium high heat.

Ok time for the fun part. Pull out the sweet potatoes and drop in the cream cheese and the whipping cream and mix well. Then, pull out the beignet mix and fold in the egg white. Once that’s combined, slowly mix (spoonful by spoonful) the sweet potato mixture into the beignet mix. Get them combined and with a nice orange hue.

Using a large spoon, slowly spoon the batter into the hot frying oil. Think of this like a pancake where you create the “beignet” by layering the batter ontop of itself and as it hits the oil it forms one singular body. I usually aim for about a 2 inch diameter.

As this cooks it will get a great brown color with a very slight roasted sweet potato coloring. Using a slotted spoon remove and hit with the dust. Rinse, wash, repeat.

Serve with vanilla ice cream to take it over to the top.